Post-Op Fears

I am extremely thankful that I have been on the online forums for so long since I've read hundreds of posts from people who think they are broken or have ruined everything. The primary reason I am glad to have seen these posts is that I have found it to be a constant fear for me post-operatively.

I realize it probably only means I am healing, but cold chills went down my spine last week when I went from being stuffed with a half of a Jello cup to being able to eat the whole thing in less than 20 minutes. I know that is a good thing, I need to be able to eat my protein and get the nutrients I need from food to be healthy. However, it was scary to be feeling hungry still at that point. And I think I am also starting to get hungry.

It's not the tear-your-head-off-if-I-don't-get-a-burger-right-now kind of hunger but I do feel it more now that I am 2 weeks out.

Other panics I've had this week include the bruise that showed up Wednesday night and now some redness around my incision sites (I'm starting to ice them now and that seems to be making it better).

I also had a tiff with my surgeon's nurse because I was following the protocol they gave me back in November. I was told soft foods could start last Sunday and the tuna sat fine in my belly but I called in to make sure it was okay and she basically said I could have ruined eveything. She also sort of laughed at my concern over my bruise. We aren't off to a great start. She basically said to only eat soft foods like soup for another month until I see the doctor and then backtracked on what soft food was even though it's all listed as the same thing in the manual. Never heard from the doctor and I called to follow-up with him...

I come from a long line of worriers, while I would prefer we were warriors I think that the worries are encouraging a healthy caution when it comes to surgery.